Quiet

Although I'm still busy and will be so until Thanksgiving rolls around, I've kept up with my reading to a lesser extent. I've had a few thoughts that I'll address sometime later when I have a bit longer.

However, for now, I just wanted to express something that struck me this morning in church. Throughout this process, I've been doing lots of reading and lots of talking. The reading helps me to be informed, the talking helps me to organize my thoughts and provide entertainment for my one reader, not to mention that I get valuable feedback that helps me further refine my thoughts. I've prayed lots for all my regular things but also a ton for guidance. I ask for forgiveness and patience during my time of wandering and confusion. Mostly, however, I ask to be led to God's truth, to God's path. I ask God to teach me right from wrong, to help me not to be misled by those who, intentionally or out of ignorance, point me in the wrong direction. I've been asking and begging and pleading and talking and talking and talking but just this morning I realized that I haven't really stopped to listen.

Whatever I'm reading, of course, speaks to whatever my current thoughts and concerns are. Often I find that reading is simply another form of listening. However, my prayers are just concerns, requests, complaints, and praises. I never take the time to allow God to use my prayer as a two-way communication medium.

So from now on, I'm going to try to give myself an extra few minutes whenever I explicitly pray* to just clear my head and listen. I suppose it's basically meditation but I prefer to think of it as changing my prayer from a monologue directed at God to a dialogue with God. Religion is all about one's relationship with God and a dialogue between two people seems much more indicative of a relationship than one person talking at another.


* Explicit prayer meaning when I stop and pray with the sole intention of praying as opposed to praying throughout my day during my regular, daily activities. I've been trying to keep God on my mind and in my heart all the time rather than just an occasional thought whenever I pray. If you truly love, honor, respect, and fear God, then you shouldn't have to actively think about Him, he should be in everything you think, say, and do without trying.